I have tried to articulate how I have felt about my torment during this transition, but I really haven’t attempted to delve into my history or the specific existential or spiritual nature of that pain very much. It’s still on my “to-do” list, but until I get around to writing it, I would like to point you to an intelligent and meaningful articulation of these feelings over on Allyson Robinson’s blog, Crossing The T.
I wish I could have written these words, but having abandoned all bible study when it became clear to me that I wanted nothing to do with a God who would torment me in this way, I find that I now return to the question of existential and spiritual pain untrained, undereducated, and inarticulate.
March 2, 2008 at 1:53 pm
Thanks, Joyce. I’m amazed at the response that post is getting–somewhere over 600 hits last time I checked. It’s definitely touching a nerve.
I know you know this, but I’m going to say it anyway. You don’t need “God language” to talk about pain, even the spiritual kind. The experience of God or of the transcendent may or may not be universal; the experience of pain most certainly is. You’re one of the most erudite women I know. I’d love to hear about it in your own words (when you get to that point on your “to do” list).