Driving over to Albuquerque for Mary’s elective surgery, we talked at length — she was unhappy about my beard work, and I told her a lot of how frustrating it is to be like this. I think the tension was reduced, but I don’t know how much understanding was generated — the trip was about her, and about her recovery (or maybe that’s just my excuse), but once this tension was gone, and she was doing surgery, we didn’t come back to it, and we need to.

It’s just so hard to get back the momentum once you’ve defused the problem slightly and return to your neutral corners so you can get your daily work done.