We are on a course with no precedent, and not just because of GID or other sex/gender issues and issues of identity. Mary Jo and I brainstormed all kinds of consequences of a transition last night, from who we can talk to about gender to when to bring in the boys, from the necessity of FFS to how we’ll relate after I’m out. This level of honesty and connection is so open that it’s disarming while also being liberating.

I noted that the more confident Mary Jo has become over the past months, the more relaxed I am. The more relaxed I become, the more confident and relaxed she becomes. We have somehow managed to defuse the fear and anxiety that was all around us in March, and despite the odds, I think we both feel somewhat excited about the process and can talk about it playfully, at least some of the time (other times are still hard, of course).

We talked last night about sex and sexual history last night — it was amusing and informative and it made me feel even more warmly towards Mary Jo. Does this spell the end of a husband-wife relationship with the necessary secrets and walls and distance between the two people, and the beginning of some other sort of relationship where intimate secrets, opinions, and histories are the norm? Or is it simply the same relationship with two people who are both evolving? I guess both answers are reasonable, given the closeness and love I’ve felt these past few weeks.