We have a swimming pool. I now have a very different shape. I have to face the fact that if I’m going to swim with my kids, I’m going to have to buy a bathing suit that is suitable for the new me because the old suit simply won’t do. I have a couple of nice men’s trunks like these guys are wearing (although I have never had a body like these guys, and definitely never will), but those will have to be donated to someone, just as my business suits will have to go.

For my new body, I was thinking that there are three aspects I’d like to deal with in considering a suit: shoulders, a bit of a belly, and a bit of, er…, extra material down below. To accommodate these issues, I think the following features would be good in a women’s suit: to deal with the shoulders, wider straps will be a lot more flattering than narrow ones, as will a V-neckline. For the belly, some kind of camouflage would be nice. And for the extras, a skirt is mandatory, at least for now. Something like this might suit me. [But will it suit my fellow bathers: Mary Jo and the boys?]