In June, I wrote Marci Bowers simply to inquire about an orchie and a very remote possibility of GRS and she called me back in July to say I had a date in August, 2009 for my GRS if I wanted it.

I was surprised by her call, and was doubly surprised when I said OK. The idea got lodged in my consciousness and began to grow, and once it sprouted and began to be more present, it slowly became an expectation.

But here’s what I’m wondering: Is GRS the genital equivalent of cosmetic surgery, or is it more deeply intertwined with gender issues? In other words, having embraced womanhood already, and having been accepted, why take a step that will be expensive and will take me out of commission for a month?

I can list reasons, but they’re not terribly compelling or urgent. And yet it’s something I find more and more desirable. I don’t know where this feeling comes from. Like so many things in this transsexual transition, some things just seem to have their own urgency.

I find my body pretty frustrating, not at the level of body dysmorphia, but at the rather superficial level of the way clothes fit and at the level of convenience.

A lot of late transitioners seem to take the view that GRS just tidies things up.

Even Mary Jo has begun saying, “You know, it’s a real jolt to see that thing sticking out of an otherwise female body.” And in some ways, I think not living with a hermaphrodite would be a relief to her.

But are these reasons sufficient to keep my rendezvous with surgery?